The J Blog

A blog for me to write general stuff...

Thursday, October 7

Welcome to my blog!

Welcome to the critically acclaimed J Blog.

Featuring random posts by me and all the videos I make of my friends.

Remember that you can view all of the "Photo Memories" videos on one page by clicking the link to the left of this page. Alternatively, go to www.joshbowerphotos.blogspot.com to go straight there!

Thanks for reading,

Joshua


Sunday, February 21

Wednesday, December 30

IMPORTANT PUBLIC MESSAGE

ATTENTION! ATTENTION!

IT HAS COME TO MY KNOWLEDGE THAT HUGH JACKMAN DOES INDEED HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR.

PLEASE DO NOT BE ALARMED, BUT REMAIN INDOORS (OR AT PIZZA HUT), INCASE HE TRIES TO MAKE EYES AT YOU

ANYONE WHO HAS ALREADY BEEN "GIVEN THE EYE" BY HUGH "SEXYBOY" JACKMAN (POSSIBLY WHILE HE IS TAKING THE TRASH OUT) SHOULD IMMEDIATELY

**GO WAIT OUTSIDE**

THAT IS ALL,
COURTESY OF THE BNP

If ever you should encounter:

Shaun
or
Sarah

tell them they're mean
unless you find that tasteless

i saw superbad

but not at josh's

Josh is a wiener

no further comment

Night cakes

Or rather, Knight cakes. Yum

Omg carrot cup cakes!

Too yummy, maddie had 8, we (me and nicky) had

Suck on that, miss you had 4 doughnuts

Idle dreams

Written by Maddie Nicky and Josh at Maddies


B-B-B-Bird bird bird, bird is the word

Tuesday, May 27

The J Blog Quiz- Pt One

Hello!

Guess what? The World Famous J Blog now has it's very own quiz!

Quickly register an account at http://www.mystudiyo.com/ so that your score can be saved!

There is a time limit so you can't cheat, and please only take the quiz once!
The longer you take, the less points you get!

Also, you can even add your own questions (although they have to be approved by me first) so go for it and add your own!

Part two coming soon, enjoy!

Joshua

Tuesday, May 6

Nucleogenesis

Whilst doing my chemistry open paper on nuclear fission, I stumbled upon a problem.

(me in blue, maddie in pink, jokes in red)

Maddie i need help!
why? oh my god, what a nerve wracking wait! Be swift my love, I will aid you!
im so stuck
and confused

oh what? dear god, please not rabies! im so scared now! or the fettucinni perhaps? or could it be mirjam fettish? deary me, how frightening. tell me your problem, u succulent beast!
is this right:
Nucleogenesis is a term used to describe the sensation of sexual orgasm, possibly as a result of sexual fantasy, ritual foreplay, or being jewish.
XD

aahahahahahha looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
ahh man that makes me lol so much
lol i got well worried then - i was pulling out my hair, i almost died a little inside
gotta write it down somewhere - its a momentous occasion, that must be documented
go for it lulls- i love you
j blog?
yeah!

yayyyyyyyy
shove the j blog

Saturday, April 26

P-Quotes

Sophie "Gorgon" Richardson said (whilst still intoxicated that morning in school):
"It's a rocket penis!"

Emma Fanny Watson said in S3 whilst we were making Reebops:
"Guys, use your penis to stand up"

And finally, our very own PenguinBoyJosh said oat 9.34am at the end of Cacky Smart Face's chemistry lesson in S6 on the 14th April 2008:
"Why does it have a penis?"


Those were just three of the many classic penis quotes that are heard every day on the ground of Sharnbrook Upper School

Woodchip's Early Morning Experience with Cacky

OMG. I had alone time with Cacky ! Like a whole 5 minutes or so yesterday morning. When I took down my stool from the wonky desk in Cacky's Room (AKA S8) the table jerked forward and Joshie's chair fell off and naturally a domino effect occured knowing of the chairs infront. The front chair landed on the paper storage zone lol and all exam papers in a cardboard box fell out ! Whilst Cacky picked them up, Woodchip restored the chairs, so there was no evidence left for the rest of the class of Cacky's early morning antics!
Cacky then got down on the floor infront of me, bird breasts on display as she leant forward to screw in the table leg stand so that it didn't wobble.
Then Cacky told me to get down too and extend the other leg. Naturally I did as I was told though I was was nervous in the presence of Cacky that instead of extending the leg stand, I shortened it ! So Cacky gave me a disapproving cack bird look (a DCBL) and said, "turn it the other way".
Frantically, I began spinning it round and round - trying not to catch the cacky bird stare in the eyes. It felt like forever, even though in reality it was only a minute or so.
Then, we "sat in silence" in Cacky's Sex Room until someone else came into the classroom. When Stephen entered, I was like "pheww" looked over to Cacky.. you could tell in her eye that she had it all planned!

Tuesday, January 29

Consequences...

I thought I'd take the opportunity to write my first blog for you...
I've written up the stories we created whilst playing "consequences" during our free third lesson today!

Thanks to Maddie, Joshua, Laura, Steffi and myself for contributing with their crazy one-liners!

Have a read and decide which is your favourite...


His name was... Joshua Bower
Her name was... Cacky Bird Face
They met... under CBF's desk
They went... to a bush
He said... "Now THAT'S a fallicy"
She said... "I do not approve"
In the end... she slapped him and he ran away with her father!

His name was... Richard de Souza
Her name was... Fran
They met... in California
They went... to third base
He said... "I wanna rub your amazing weenus.. it turns me on"
She said... "OMG! I was jsut about to say that!"
They ended up eating each other's toes


His name was... Mr. Barnard
Her name was... Mrs. Friman
They met... in the cupboard in S4
They went... Charnia - Butlins

He said... "It doesn't fit, it just doesn't fit!!!"
She said... "I like bananas"
They back a cake until Nicky interrupted

Then they licked their nuts!

His name was... Mr. Blobby
Her name was... Laura Birmingham
They met... at Brighton gay parade
They went... the farm
He said... "I think Mrs. Ward is super hot! Ahh yeah!"
She said... "Yes! Yes! Yes! Oooo yes!"
In the end... they went nude bungee-jumping


His name was... Rhys
Her name was... Steffi
They met... at the burns unit
They went... the park bench
He said... "Greetings! How are you this evening?"
She said... "Okay if we must."
In the end... they bought a boat together xxx


His name was... Neale Smith
Her name was... Miss Orosz
They met... in Laura's colon
They went... to a magical lands where the frogs rule
He said... "Is that what I think it is?"
She said... "Don't hurt me"
In the end... they went to Texas, rode a cowboy, had a baby with a local, met an immigrant, walked on the moon and ate cheese


His name was... Nathan
Her name was... Mrs. Laslett
They met... at a gay bar - the sauna in the back
They went... to Brazil
He said... "I have something to show you"
She said... "Welcome to Butlins!"
In the end... she slapped him, he stopped her, they went to the beach, got stuck in a cave and blew up the fat friend


His name was... Nick Boardman
Her name was... Nicky Aveston
They met... the Spar (Kiki was serving)
They went... to the dirtiest cubicle they could find
He said... "Will you delight me in all ways imaginable?"
She said... "Oh yeah baby"
In the end... the Pope denied the whole story


His name was... Mr. Leeroy Robinson
Her name was... Steffles
They met... at Disneyland
They went... to Barbados
He said... "Is that real?"
She said... "Lick me! Lick me! Blarghhh!"
In the end... they rode into the sunset on camels


His name was... Richard
Her name was... Emma Watson
They met... in a cup
They went... to Mr. Hall's house
He said... "Might I enquire about your spoons? Oder!"
She said... "Oh it will, it will. Don't you worry!"

They were then eating chocolate ice-cream, but 2 girls interrupted.
In the end... their memories blocked the whole thing out


His name was... Ed
Her name was... Beccy Croot
They met... Inside the hot drinks machine
They went... to Primark men's underwear section
He said... "How much do you charge?"
She said... "I'll have no filthy immigrants in my house"

They sucked on bananas and other phallic-shaped food until Steffi interrupted.
In the end... they were a foursome.


His name was... Leeroy
Her name was... A shaven monkey
They met... on an online dating service
www.cbf.com
They went... to a brothel
He said... "You digust me"
She said... "Ahh now choclits!"

They honked like a donkey, till they saw Osama Bin Laden
In the end... they got married and lived happily ever after!


~ THE END ~

Monday, January 21

Photo Memories: Updated

Videos Six and Seven are up on the Photo Memories section now!

Head to www.joshbowerphotos.blogspot.com or click on the link at the top left of this page!

Saturday, January 19

Photo Memories: Part Five- Spanish Exchange 2007

The fifth in the series, featuring photos AND CLIPS from the spanish exchange!

The third video I've made today! Ha!

Enjoy :)

Photo Memories: Part Four- School Days

New video made featuring the Christmas Fancy Dress day at school and the biology trip to Leicester Uni!

Remember to head over to the link at the top left of this page, titled "Photo Memories" for the complete collection!

ATTENTION

Hello :)

To view all of the "Photo Memories Videos" on one page, please click the link to the left of this page.

Alternatively, go to: www.joshbowerphotos.blogspot.com

Thanks :)

Joshua

Photo Memories: Part Three- Sleepover 2006

Hey guys!

Here's the third video as promised! Enjoy, and please leave comments!

Quotes II

More quotes...

"Nothing that's worth having comes easy"

"The Opposite of Love isn't Hate, it's Indifference. So if you hate me, you still care"

"Obession can't be defined, it just is"

Thursday, January 17

Photo Memories: Part Two- Christmas Light Turn On

The second video is here!

Check it out:

Photo Memories: Part One- Pizza Hut

Photos Memories: An introduction

Using the photos taken by Woodchip, I shall be making a series of videos called "Photo Memories". Part one is of 2 parties @ Pizza Hut.

Enjoy :)

[More to come soon!]

Monday, January 7

Josh's Favourites... BOOKS

The second in my "Josh's Favourites" posts. This time books!

BOOKS


Guardians of Time Trilogy- Marianne Curley

I looove these books! Namely:
The Named
The Dark
The Key

They are absolutely my favourite books ever and I highly recommend them!
Books that you should read!!



CHERUB- Robert Muchamore
Wicked "teenage spy" books but so much more than that.

The Recruit
Class A
Maximum Security
The Killing
Maximum Security
Man Vs. Beast
The Fall
Mad Dogs

Coming soon...
The Sleepwalker
Dark Sun
The General
Books 11 and 12

Wicked books read them.
Books that you should read!!



Maximum Ride- James Patterson
Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment
Maximum Ride: School's Out... Forever!
Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

Coming soon: Maximum Ride: The Final Global Warming Warning

Excellent reads, so much fun!
Books that you should read!!



Shade's Children- Garth Nix
A excellent one off. Touching.
Books that you should read!!



Artemis Fowl- Eoin Colfer
The Keys to the Kingdom- Garth Nix
His Dark Materials- Phillip Pullman
The Supernaturalist- Eoin Colfer
James Bond- Ian Fleming
Young Bond- Charlie Higson
Alex Rider- Anthony Horrowitz
Power of Five- Anthony Horrowitz
The Demonata- Darren Shan
Septimus Heap- Angie Sage
Harry Potter- JK Rowling


Books that you should read!!

Josh's Favourites... TELEVISION PROGRAMS

Here's the first in potentially a long line of "Josh's Favourites".

This first one it "TV Programs".

TV Programs


Desperate Housewives

Is it my absolute favourite? Maybe... maybe not. I can't decide. I do love it though :)

Desperate Housewives



LOST

Absolutely enticing, no matter what anybody says! The mystery, the characters, the story...

Lost



Scrubs

I love this show, it's so funny! All the characters etc!
I will be sad to see it end after Season 7.

Scrubs



Ugly Betty

Fun in fashion! Hysterical whilst touching! Love it!

Ugly Betty



Heroes

Sometimes awesome, sometimes not. No matter, it's still a really good show and is generally awesome!

Heroes



Doctor Who

Awesome program from the UK.

Doctor Who



Strictly Come Dancing

Great entertainment for Saturday nights. Love all the celebs and dances etc.

Strictly Come Dancing

Monday, October 8

Useless Quotes I

Dont you hate the phrases "new and improved"

if its new, theres never been one before.
If its improved, there has been one before.


"its always in the last place you look"

Well of course it is, Ure not gonna look for it after uve found it are you. >:|

Quotes I

"Obsession can't be defined, it just is"
~ Desp Hwives


"They feel the happiness. They understand the pain"
~ J. Bower (personal)


"We can't prevent what we can't predict"
~ Desp Hwives


"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves"
~ Anon

QUOTES

When i remember a good quote, I shall write it here, on this blog.

Boredom II

This Blog represents Boredom...

most of the time.


I became bored so made a blog.


Lol .>.>.

Boredom

Why do we become bored?

Answer: Because we have nothing to do?

WRONG!

There is plenty to do.

We are bored because we cannot be bothered to do something, even if we don't know what we could do.

~~Glad thats settled.

:D